What I Won't Miss When Trump is Gone

A Partial List of Daily Irritants I'm Hoping Will Go Away When Trump Loses

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I thought I would share with you a few of the things I won’t miss when Kamala Harris becomes president.

• Donald Trump. I know this is obvious but the dude sure does suck the oxygen out of a decade, you know what I mean. He’s one of the most repulsive human beings we have ever been collectively exposed to as a nation. But he’s something much less than that. He is cheap and ignorant and boring and has never said one interesting in his life. If you knew him, you’d avoid him. If you were in the same room with him, you’d leave. And now he has reached the point that in addition to menacing everything that is good about the United States, he has also started to repeat himself. Even when he enters full sunset mode and starts speaking as though he were a random word generated, he often repeats his own incoherent rants. I’m under no illusion. He will not go away easily. As one of my wise friends said the other day, this election will not be over until election day. But thereafter, he will gradually fade from the public’s consciousness. Either that or I will start flossing between my ears with barbed wire.

• I know there are people who argue that Trump will never go away. In fact, I’ve seen a couple articles recently that suggested that he would run again if he loses. In 2028. When he is 82 years old and his diaper is fuller than his brain or his bank account. Which brings me to another thing I won’t miss. I won’t miss political pundits occupying so much of the airwaves and of my brainwaves. Politics is important. In fact, I’m drawn to it. I live in Washington. I’ve spent much of my adult life here. By choice. But politics has become a mania in recent years and we all need to dial it back a bit. (If Trump loses. If he wins, we fight with all our might for as long as it takes.)

• There are a number of voices that I have to admit I will be happy to see fade from the political commentary scene. You’ve got the ex-GOPers who really never left the GOP and whose answer to everything is that Kamala Harris or Joe Biden or Democrats in general need to be…wait for it…more Republican. I am all for the big tent. I really admire how the VP has reached out across party lines. But these folks are so relentlessly predictable in their prescriptions. And their credentials are that they normalized the rightward drift of the GOP that prepared the way for Trump. If you prefer McConnell to Pelosi, sorry but I’m not listening now and I will be happy to be listening less then.

• Also in the group I will be happy never to hear from again are the remora podcasters. You know remoras, the “suckerfish” that attach themselves to the sides of whales. These folks who done that to Trump. They had no credentials before. They have had little to the debate since. Their entire role is to wind people up about Trump. They are part of Trump’s grievance ecosystem and whatever useful purpose they have served, I will not miss them. There are just too many damned opinions out there America and I say this as a columnist, media commentator with his own podcast and substack. In other words, I know I live in a glass house. But I do like to think forty years of experience in DC and a primary focus on policy more than politics and on history more than headlines may have me in a slight higher class of remora…maybe the kind who are not so close to the backside of the whale.

• As someone who often goes on TV, I will also say that I will be very happy to be able to tune out certain TV personalities who have gotten on my last nerve over the past few years. These include the both-sidesers and the DC insiders who I know for a fact are just promoting stories that help them sell their next or their last book or scratch the back of a friend who will soon be expected to scratch their back. There are some that are superannuated and need to move on to a new chapter in their lives. There are some that are just not super smart. I like the ones who are knowledgeable and know something about history and journalism, that have a unique perspective. I’ll also be happy not to have to listen to the worst kind of TV personalities, the ones that I don’t like or disagree with or worse still, who have disagreed with me from time to time. (I jest.)

• The change in administration will have other advantages. It will, I hope, bring us a new attorney general. That will be good because we sorely need one. But it will also be good because we will be rid of the Garlandistas who have spent the past four years patrolling the Interwebs for the slightly criticism of the current attorney general. Like white blood cells they react to such criticism with an impulse to kill he intruder who has dared question the tactics or strategies of Garland. I happen to admire Garland and some of the people I respect most respect him as a man deeply. But that does not mean he was the attorney general we needed for the Trump era. The fact that Trump is even a candidate in this election or that we have made so little progress with federal prosecution of crimes that took place four or more years ago is the surest sign of that. Please don’t tell them I said so, but he dropped the ball and their constant assurances that he “had this” and that we trust him have not produced particularly good results.

• It might be nice to have a functioning two party system again. I’m not optimistic in the near term. I think the MAGAs will be out there. But the principle and courage of people like Liz Cheney and the who Republicans Against Trump crowd do give me some hope.

• It will be nice to travel the world without having to apologize for Trump or our political system. Kamala Harris will be an excellent president and will build on Joe Biden’s excellent legacy. (Speaking of which, I will be very happy to put behind me the false narrative that Biden and Harris have a bad record. Because they are the most accomplished first term administration in six decades or more by any fair metric. The narrative is 100 percent spun bullshit and with some luck a little time and perspective will result in people appreciating good government while it is actually happening.

There’s more. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Still, this is a lot for me and I hope you will help make it a reality by voting.